Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Stigma and the Filipina

When I was writing my romance trilogy "Hawlang Apoy" as a medium for advocacy against the trafficking of women, the women I interviewed brought up the issue of stigma. It is one big stumbling block for women who want to start anew after having been abused. Society's persecution of these violated women often continues long after the punishment for the perpetrators has been forgotten.

Stigma is a difficult thing to face because it is something insidious and hidden. The victim is seldom told to her face. She never fails to feel its cruel effects, though. There is exclusion, distancing, marginalization. It is demeaning and often breaks the spirit of the stigmatized.

Stigma is what the Filipina now faces when internet search engine searches produce a majority of results showing smut sites or mail order bride sites.

Stigma is what the Filipina is subjected to offline when people are influenced by such an unbalanced internet image.

Now, Filipinas are cautioned against considering themselves sexy lest they be automatically associated with lewdness.

Filipinas married to non-Filipinos are often assumed to be mail order brides, with the unspoken connotation of having married for money.

Oh, and there's that other stigma, too: that Filipina means domestic helper.

Stigma is particularly harmful because it causes division even among Filipinas. For example, many of us protest the last label because of its narrowness and not because being a domestic helper is demeaning. Other Filipinas hold a different view, however, and feel insulted at being identified with Filipina domestic helpers. Class discrimination is highlighted and brought to the fore.

Stigma thrives on the unspoken. Like taboo, it is a child of darkness. It envelops the stigmatized and draws her to cower in hidden corners.

To fight stigma, we need to throw light on it. Bright light. Glaring light. We need to expose it and subject it to scrutiny. Dispel the mistaken notions and innuendoes. Strip it down to bare truth.

Ironically, the internet itself is an ideal medium for fighting stigma. I'm glad that Filipinas are speaking up against it in the very same arena.

Bloggers have particularly powerful voices. Filipina bloggers should, indeed, show the world that yes, we are Filipinas and we can be sexy without being lewd, we can marry the man of our choice from anywhere in the world without being mail order brides, we can be domestic helpers with heads held high and also professors and scientists and artists, we can be everything we want to be. Stigma be damned.

3 comments:

One Wacky Mom said...

Manila Mom,
Great post. My room mate in college was and is Filapina. She has been and always will be my best friend...for over 30 years. My family has celebrated the traditional Filipina Christmas holiday every year for the past 20 years and we hold that tradition dear to our hearts.

It would break my heart if something ever broke that tradition. My roommate married a caucasion. She wasn't mail order...at all. She went to Columbia University for graduate school where she met her husband and he went onto become a doctor.

She has four sisters, yet I was her maid of honor in her wedding. That is how close we are.

Any kind of stigma is a horrid one...and all we can do as women in this world is to raise the bar by our words, actions and our behavior.

You Manila Mom...stand tall in this world...as my friend Eastcoastlife does. I applaud you both.

My niece and goddaughter is a malato...she's black skinned. I don't see colors. I never have...and never will. I see people. When people see colors they differentiate.

When people ask me what I am....I tell them I am American...but I am a global person...who more and more is feeling less connected to any borders because blogging has opened my world.

When people ask me my religion...I tell them I am spiritual.

It is the boxes we put ourselves in that creates problems.

I try not to put myself into any boxes. I have raised my sons the same way.

God Bless You Manila Mom!!!!

One Wacky Mom said...

Oh by the way Manila Mom, I linked into this blog on my other blogs,
Resource Economics is
http://evnucci.wordpress.com

Career Strategist is
http://careerstrategist.blogspot.com

Murphy's Law is
http://wackymom.blogspot.com

I adore you Manila Mom!

M said...

Wacky Mom, wow! This is so good to know. No wonder I immediately felt an affinity with you. Your having a Filipina for a best friend means we somehow resonate to the same vibrations. We look beyond labels and see people's true essences.

Oh,and thak you so much for the links! I'll add your blogs to my blogs' link pages, too.

More important to me is having gained a real friend online! :D

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